Weird Sex Dreams

If my husband and I haven’t spent a lot of time together, I start dreaming about him leaving me for someone with better time management skills. Lately we haven’t been spending a lot of time together, our work schedule’s just don’t make it easy to have time together.

Last night I had a dream that started out pretty good. We were looking for a double penetration partner, someone who we could bring into our sex life to help fulfill a fantasy. Now, I would like to go out on a side note here and say that I do not want another man in our bedroom, I’m happy with toys for double penetration, but it is a nice “fantasy.”

Anyway, since everyone knows there is only a thin wall between the anal canal and the vagina, my husband and our new partner wanted to get to know each other before rubbing penis’ together. They went out for a guys night. Came back and were super… uh, lovey on one another. Now my husband and I are cool with the homosexual community, but he’s straight as an arrow.

In my dream he wound up leaving me for this man who I had brought into our lives! This is the first dream I’ve ever had of him leaving me for a man. And while it still made me sad when I woke up, it wasn’t as bad as when he leaves me for women in my dreams. Maybe it’s because I know he’s not sexually attracted to men? Maybe it’s because there wasn’t any comparison in my dream? Usually in my dream I wind up comparing myself to the woman he left me for.

I Got the Pole Up, Finally!

About two years ago I bought a strippers pole and have just now got around to putting it up! When I first bought it the house I was in had extremely low ceilings, not ideal for the height of the pole. Then we moved. The second house had more average ceiling heights, but we were living with my brother and our room, the biggest room in the house, was not big enough for me to dance on the pole, so we did not put it up. Next we rented a room from some friends. My husband, our two children, and half of our stuff all shared one room, in someone else’s house. Not somewhere I want to learn to strip. Finally, we are in a small apartment complex with great ceiling height and huge rooms! But, we have downstairs neighbors. Crap.

A couple of weeks ago the neighbors moved out! I wanted to put the pole up that moment, but knew that if someone else moved in it would all be for not. So I waited. And waited. And waited. At last, a potential renter showed interest, paid the deposit, and began moving in. That tenant is my brother, his wife, and their newborn. But it’s okay! She is in love with my pole and wants to give it a go to see if she should buy one. YAY!

So now, I need to build my upper body strength and work on some sexy dance moves. I have a feeling I’m in for a lot of laughs, some bruises, and hopefully some really hot sexy time.

Do you have or know someone who has a stripper pole? Do you want one? Do you know of any resources for sexy strip pole routines? Let me know in the comments below!

Ick… that rhymed…

Something About A Blog / Writing Tour. . . .

A fellow blogger (who I don’t remember) asked me to take part in a bloggers writing tour! This is where I will answer various questions to help my readers better understand my writing process and why I write what I do! I hope you enjoy this post and I look forward to reading other bloggers writing tours.

What am I working on…

I am working on so much that I don’t even have half of my ideas written down and I’m very overwhelmed just thinking about it. I have a few reviews that I need to write (like, 5…), I have a couple of articles I really want to write, and I’m working on some new things for my blog – banners, buttons, widgets, etc. Also! I am working on an entry for LELO’s graphic design contest! I’ll write about that in another post at a later time. » Read more

5 Reasons My New Blog Rocks!

All mine

After four hours of non-stop work I came home last night, clicked to my bright shiny domain, and I could see it! I had bought my domain and transferred it to my host three days earlier and had been religiously refreshing the page, waiting for it to become visible to me. Annoyed, because everyone else could see it, and anxious because I wanted to get to work on it as soon as possible. Last night, I fell asleep working on it. I was so happy to finally have a website that is all mine. And while there are many, many more reasons why, here are 5 reasons why my new blog ROCKS! » Read more

Review- Mimi 2 by Je Joue

After my splash-proof Mimi original died in the shower Je Joue replaced it with the Mimi 2. I had heard horrible things about the Mimi 2: the buttons were tough to push, it wasn’t as strong, it was harder to charge, etc, etc, etc. Needless to say, I was a little anxious over having my “perfect” Mimi replaced with the newer one that had so many flaws.

When it arrived it came packaged the same way the first one did. In a very discreet outer box; nestled inside was smaller black box. Je Joue has a beautiful packaging system. Their boxes are tough black card board with their name printed on the front, and the toy sitting beautifully inside on a plastic shell. They also include a small compartment for storing lube samples, your charger, etc. My Mimi only came with the box for storage, and I am fine with that. The box is small and compact. If you don’t wish to store your Mimi in the box I’d suggest storing it away from other toys whose materials you aren’t sure about, to avoid staining and damage. » Read more

How To Buy Body Safe Toys

A top priority for all adult product consumers is to buy a body safe toy, but most consumers don’t know their toy facts. For example, did you know that some materials used to make toys can cause cancer? Yes, you read that right. Cancer. You are probably asking yourself now “How can that be? Marketing for these products are clearly directed at and sold to us consumers!” Well, that area of the market is not regulated. This means, there are no laws to keep producers from adding these chemicals. What makes this worse is that most of these manufacturers know that these chemicals are harmful!

Even being wary of the materials you buy won’t help you. Are you, again, asking yourself why? This goes back to no regulations being on this area of the adult market. Because there are no laws and because the FDA has not placed any restrictions or someone to watch over the shoulder of producers, a producer can label an obviously jelly toy as 100% silicone! The toy doesn’t even have to contain 0.01% silicone for them to label it as such.

So how you can you protect yourself against these harmful chemicals? Well the CATT, aka The Coalition Against Toxic Toys, suggest you take a few simple steps to insure that you are purchasing a body safe toy.

If you are buying a toy from a sex shop where you can handle the packaging or toy, CATT suggests that you do a “smell test.” If a toy has a chemical smell to it that you can detect outside of the package, don’t buy it. If you don’t smell anything outside the package but get the toy home to find a smell, wash the toy and allow it to air out for a day or two, if the smell doesn’t dissipate, don’t use the toy.

Another tip for buying a body safe sex toy is to read the packaging. Most of the time if a company is questionable they will have labeled the toy as “For novelty use only.” I don’t know about you, but for me this raises some red flags. If manufacturers sell these toys to sex shops, marketed as a sex toy on the packaging, and even comes with instructions for sexual use, why is it labeled that you should not use this toy for anything but novelty? My theory is this label is to avoid legal issues if this toy causes you bodily harm. Did you get that? Again, just my theory, but it makes sense.

I have a couple of toys that are from trusted companies and a few that have the novelty warning on them. I emailed a couple of the companies that produce the toys I have with the novelty warning and included their replies below:

Blush novelties emailPipeDream reply

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

cal exotics reply

 

I find it curious that each one of these companies provided me with different excuse about why they label their toys the way they do. I will update later this week with some replies from more reputable producers on why they don’t label their toys as “novelty.”

Back to how you, as a consumer, can educate yourself more on body safe toys, a tip I have gathered by looking at a few Jars of Doom, look at your toy! If it is sweating, peeling, sticking to other toys, has discoloration, or anything of the like, it probably isn’t safe to stick inside your body.

Jar of Doom

Photo Courtesy of Smitten Kitten

If you are still wary of toys, I highly recommend you merely buy from a reputable producer. I did not write this post to scare you off from using adult products, as they have been a wonderful addition to my sex life and be for yours too. Instead I wrote this article to educate you on how to protect yourself.

Finally, I recommend you further educate yourself with the following articles. And feel free to google this issue and find information for yourself.

Dildology
Smitten Kitten
Dangerous Lilly
Ducky Doolittle
Hey Epiphora
Kinkly
Pantophile Panic
Beck and Her Kinks

The Ultimate Guide to Hiding Toys

watermelon high intensity bullet

Hiding Toys: Can you imagine finding a hiding place for this bright baby?

Running out of places to hide your toys? You children, roommate, or pet find them no matter where you put them? Don’t fret! I’m providing you with a lovely guide on hiding toys of all shapes, sizes, and uses.

Even those without children understand how important a good hiding place for your toys is. We have all heard, saw, or been involved in those uncomfortable stories of the family pet carrying a hot pink dildo through the living room on a major holiday get together, or the delighted child who found out his parents were “super heroes” with a collection complete with whips, cuffs, and other strange devices. This guide is to help you discover creative hiding places around your home, and hopefully inspire you to find some of your own.

While storing your toys in a box under the bed may work for some people, it may not work for all. I once had a visiting child bring his mother one of my husband’s masturbation sleeves. While the child had no idea what he had dug up, his mother and I did. Boy, was that embarrassing! So what alternative options are icicles in pantrythere for hiding your sexual treasures?

Most sex toys sell nifty boxes adorned with locks, but with my luck I would lose the key. If you are one of the lucky ones who is taller than 5’2 you could store your collection in the top of your closet, but that is no help to us short folk. There is of course other options, such as using a hide-y pillow or a teddy bear, but could you imagine your surprise if you ever forgot and your pillow begins violently vibrating in the middle of a peaceful nap?

I like to get creative with my hiding places. Even with limited space, multiple roommates, or nosy children there are tons of hiding options in any house; behind the TV or microwave, behind the books on your bookshelf, in an empty shampoo bottle under the sink, to name a few. Why limit your hiding places to just the bedroom when you may get a hankering for pleasure in any room of your house? You will need to use your imagination and hide a toy in every room for those adventurous urges.

anal plug in bathroomBehind the TV is not the only option for your living room hiding place. You could easily stuff a pleasure device between the couch cushions, under the recliner, or in a potted plant! Of course this may just be begging your children to use your lime green ten inch dildo as a sword for their next game of make-believe.

Also, don’t limit yourself to behind the microwave for your kitchen. Hide one behind that frozen bag of peas you have had in your freezer for two years, or under the stove, just make sure that one is not inflammable. While you are hiding your toys in the kitchen do not forget which cooking oil you use for lube and which one you actually use for cooking!

Ideas for your bathroom might include behind the toilet, in a cardboard toilet paper roll, or under that old, ratty towel no one ever uses. If you slip one in your tampon box be aware of the possibility that female visitors might find it. Since you are already in the bathroom do not forget to wash your toys before use, unless of course you enjoy the feeling of “behind-the-potty-grime” in your lady bits.

If you are brave and truly adventurous you might be tempted to try the “hide it in plain sight” approach. You could use ben wa balls as center piece decorations, throw in some potpourri and no one would ever guess that your kegel balls were on your coffee table! Use butt plugs as faux candles, the more unique the design the more stylish family and friends will believe you are – just be sure no one attempts to light them.

Dildos could be used as unique art pieces, use this article for inspiration. You can disguise your vibrators as hand mixers or neck massagers. Get a little more creative with vibrators by taking the batteries out, flipping them upside down and using them to hold silk flowers - voilà! a vase. Just don’t go too far and put water in your make-shift vase, that could seriously damage your toy! Cock rings could be thrown in with tools and your friends would believe that they were merely washers or what not.dildo on movie shelf

Remember, be creative, and do not limit yourself to just the bedroom! But of course hiding it in plain sight or even in a place that seems like a good hiding place outside of the privacy of your bedroom is just asking for trouble. All things considered, you will be better off just investing in a lock box. And for the sake of your toys, DO NOT LOSE THE KEY!

Quick Update

I’ve been sick the past couple of days, which means that nothing has been done. I called into work, got a baby sitter so I could sleep, missed mothers day, and didn’t eat anything! Not a thing in 36 hours. Granted, I was asleep for most of the time, but still, made me really weak.

Now, I have 3 reviews and 2 articles sitting in my draft box and a book sitting on my night stand, all waiting for me to present it to y’all on a pretty little platter, and all I want to do is click around Pinterest. I have horrible writers block, I think my blog needs a lot of tweaking, and I don’t really want to write at the moment.

But I feel guilty for not writing in the past few days. See, I have this horrible habit of starting things (read: blogs) and never touching them again, and I really don’t want that to happen here – so I am trying to post at least every other day.

I know it’s short, hence the title “quick update”, but now I’m out of things to write. What have you been up to lately? Do you suffer from “start-itis” too?

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